Do you ever sit n cry
For no reason at all
You don't even hold back
You jus let the tears fall..

Do you ever stay up all night
Starring at the phone
Thinkin mayb she might
Jus give you a call..

Do you ever pretend to b happy
When you'r really not
And it takes all you've got
Not to let yr true feelings show..

Do you ever got tired
Of helping everybody else
When you can't even figure out
How to help yrself

Do you ever get annoyed
By ppl who say they care
But when you need them most
Their never there..

God Bless Me..

因为爱你.所以放手还你自由
因为爱你.所以不再让你困扰
因为爱你.所以宁愿自己难过
因为爱你.所以我逼自己离开...

如果我还一直深爱着你...
你是否还会待在我身边?
如果我还一直在乎着你...
你是否会再多看我一眼?
是否我已不存在了...
你才感觉的到我的离开?
是否我已离开了....
你才感觉的到我对你的好?

爱上一个人..........
如此的甜蜜却又让人受伤害
放弃一个人..........
如此的难过却又让人心碎

Me n Vivian.. taken in the pub

jus came back fr clubbing..
wen clubbing with friends..
dunno y.. mayb drink too much le ba..
keep dancing till my back is wet..
jus wish to keep dacing till I can forgets everything..
but I jus can't shake it off..
Memories I had hurting me again..

God r u there with me??
Can u put me asleep..
I need a rest...

today was my off day..
Meet dar for lunch..
We wen to lavanda food centre..
so full.. after tat reach hm
take a nap..
meet dar for dinner..
we wen to suntec..
walk here n there dunno eat wat..
in the end took a cab
down to hav mr bean..
Order alot of foods..
dar didn't eat much..
I try to finish..
but still got somemore left la..
Wen to orchard cos dar need
to take passport size photo..
after tat sen dar hm..
now going to slp le..
got to wrk tml..
haiz sian ar.. doing closing again..

Here I am.. hehe..
today wrk for me is super fast lo..
I mean time passes super fast..
dunno y haha..
Yesterday after wrk
wen to c the FHM Bikini party ..
WAH.. the gals there all with bikini lo..haha
All damn pretty..
After tat wen to watch belly dance..
But the gals there r all auntie haha..
Somemore they are not thin lo..
Tot belly dances their size should be alright..
But wat I saw is
they r not shaking their belly..
They r shaking their fat..
OMG.. after awhile go off for dinner..
Had dinner with friends at china town..
Home sweet Home after tat..

today after wrk meet Jen Dar
at orchard..
we had NYDC for dinner..
while having our meals..
the rain start to pour..
N the wind was so strong tat
rain came in..
Dar's hair was half wet..
her hair was messy too.. haha
In the end we decide to take away our foods..
But when we going to leave..
saw there's table which won't get us wet..
so we sit on tat table to continue our foods..
n we order dessert too.. hehe
was super full..
Wen to shop shop around at heeren..
after tat sent dar hm..
now hm sweet hm again. hehe
Yeah yeah.. tml off .. so happy..

Heh guys.. Change my video clip le..
Hope u guys like it..
Boys 2 Men-- On Bended kness

Kiss--Because I’m a girl(english)

I just can’t understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes.
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away...
You told me how much you loved me,
And how our love was meant to be.
And i believed in you,
I thought that you would set me free...
You should’ve just told me the truth,
That I wasn’t the girl for you...
Still I didn’t have a clue,
So my heart depended on You... Whoah
Although I’ll say I hate you now,
though I’ll shout and curse you out...
I’ll always have love for you, Because I am a girl
Been told a man will leave you cold,
Get sick of you and bored...
I know that it’s no lie, I gave my all still I just cry.
Never again will I be fooled,
to give my all when nothing’s true...
I won’t be played again, but I will fall in love again...
You should’ve just told me the truth,
That I wasn’t the girl for you...
Still I didn’t have a clue,
So my heart depended on You... Whoah
Although I’ll say I hate you now,
Though I’ll shout and curse you out...
I’ll always have love for you,
Because I am a girl I loved u so...
now u leave me in the cold, How could this be,
I thought that you’d only love me...
Into the night...I will pray that you’re alright,
You hurt me so, I just can’t let u go....
You took advantage of my willingness,
to do anything for love, Now I’m the only one in pain...
Will you please take it all away~ Oh~
Never thought born being a girl,
How i can love you and be burned...
And now i will build a wall, to never get torn again~
Although I’ll say I hate you now,
Though I’ll shout and curse you out...
I’ll always have love for you, Because I am a girl
Although I’ll say I hate you now,
though I’ll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you, Because I am a girl

3.45pm
Haiz now is my break time..
nothing to do..
so thinking blog something in here..
The stuffs I wan to share
should start a few days back..
When I wen to tis bilabong shop
in sentosa..
there's tis sale gal.. quite young of age..
20+ yrs old ba if I'm not wrong..
she has a long hair n the shape of her body is
haha dun need to say Best Ar..
I really can't take my eyes off her..
Ask her alots of question..
which is nothing to do
with the things I wan..haha
Sad to know tat she's closing..
N u know wat.. tis is the part I wan to share..
tis morning when I'm having my breakfast
at harbour front hawker centre..
I saw her.. haha so happy
cos she's the one who smile to me first
when she walk pass me..
Wahh.. Her smile really damn nice ..
haha ooppss wait I dry my mouth first haha..
ok then after tat when I'm waiting inside
the harbour front bus..
She board the bus..
haha.. n she's siting beside me..
hehe no la the seat beside me..
Not beside me la.. I'm jus dreaming.. haha
Anyway I think she knows tat I keep looking at her la..
cos she keep turning her head over n smile to me..
Makes my heart jump so fast..
Lucky nv had heart attack.. haha
Haiz so sad tat we took the diff bus..
after we drop off at Arrival Centre
or else mayb I can get her no..
haha.. HEI WAKE UP LA..
STOP DREAMING ZAVIER.. haha
Haiz dreams are over going back to wrk again..
Sian arrrhh..

Today wen for my trial test..
N yes I pass haha..
Sooo happy..
46 out of 50..
tis jus a trial test
need to book for a real test..
Basic theory test..
Stress arhhh..

In the evening meet dar for dinner..
We wen bugis..
after walk around at the bugis village..
Fetch dar hm after tat..
Sad to know fr dar tat
she's going to migrate to canada..
I'm going to miss her badly..
Got to treasure the days when she still around..
but she so busy haiz..

Got to wrk tml le.. sian ar..

God.. pls let me forgets everything
everything i had in my mind..
Cos its hurting me..
U can bless me had a great fall
or knock dwn by cars or
anything tat can makes me feel better..
I'm tired really tired in my life now..
I dunno wat to do..
I feel so useless..
everything I do won't help
anyone of them in my life happy
all I bring to them is unhappy,
anger n stress..
God.. I waiting for u to help me..
I'm waiting!!

Heh guys.. I won't be loading anymore photos
in my yahoo album..
cos I can't find the web for loading photos in yahoo
So I'll be using another website
for loading my photos..
its at my links.. webshots..
But those photos in my yahoo album
is still available.. ok.. hehe tats all..

14/9/05

today was my off day..
wen to hav a hair cut..
u all mus b saying
yr hair so short le still cut..
haha.. yap I did..
cos due to my sentosa new pass
n my driving licence book
I need to hav passport size photo
so decide to hav a nice nice photo ma.. haha
But in the end the photos didn't turn out well..
Cos I hav one eye bigger than the other..
dunno y.. haiz so mayb will take another one..

Meet Jen dar for dinner..
yeah finally she's free to go out with me..
She ar.. haiz so busy with her wrk n reports..
We meet at boon keng mrt after her wrk..
wen to orchard to hav Swensen..
I had alot of foods.. haha
cos I didn't had my breakfast & lunch..
But dar didn't had much..
she onli had some fries n ice cream for her own..
After tat we wen to lucky plaza to buy my digital cam..
We walk to a few shop
n got into tis shop which an indian man
serving us.. he was like very blur lo..
haiz follow him here n there jus to test out the cam..
Is all indian mans like tat..
tot only in india.. but y in singapore..
In the end I also very paisei cannot say dun wan to buy..
cos he really serving in quite patient ways..
So yap I bought a digital cam.. yeah so happy..
After buying the cam..
we wen to far east to took neo... hehe
Then sent dar hm..
on the bus we took some pics..
trying out the new cam..
N hav alot of funs..
cos my dar got alot of funny action..
Anyway I did load the pic..
But tis time is in the webshot..
cos I dunno y
I can't find the upload photos fr yahoo
So guys rem my new photos will be upload in
webshots ok.. hehe will take more photos now on..
Take care.. God Bless everyone of u..

yesterday night wen to hav my
basic theory leeson 1&2 online..
Wah its really stress me..
So many to learn n rem..
Especially the road signs n rules..
Haiz hav to keep trying..
still got 3&4 lesson to go.. More tough..

Today wrking at bus stop..
Not much ppl la..
Tml sian la..
wrk drink stall..
Lucky its morning shift..
But coming week got alot of night shift.. sian..

After wrk meet my zhu xiao mei sharon,
her gf n desiree..
yeah finally got to meet..
Wen to hav prata at boon keng..
I had plasta n plain prata..
Sharon mei n her gf share
cheese prata n paper prata..
Desiree had paper prata too
but she didn't finish it..
after tat chat awhile..
n took bus back together..
Now I'm hm..
thinking taking my lesson 3&4
but there's some pro on the website
so no choice got to wait till tml le..
Will slp early cos quite tired le..
Anyway sharon really enjoy dinner with u
n yr gf & desiree..
hope u like the present I give it to u..
Early wishes.. Happy Birthday to you..Sharon

Today was my off day..
So I decide to go
n hav my driving licence done..
Me n my sis went to meet Edwin in the noon at Yio Chu Kang..
Hehe finally got to meet up with him..
He's still the same lo..
not much changes..
When we reach the SSDC (singapore safety driving centre)
the staff there say tat I need to attend some speech
its around 20mins.. My sis cannot wait for me
cos she's meeting her friends
So onli Edwin company me for the tok..
So funny at the end of the tok
I still dun understand wat the lady is toking about
But I still decide to hav driving lesson there
cos there's the place which is near to my hus
When paying up the course for the Enrolment
n theory lesson I ask the staff again about the courses..
Somehow still cannot catch it..
But nvm la.. Anything I can ask Edwin haha..
After settle everything..
I notice tat I haven't had my breakfast n lunch..
So we decide to go beach rd there to hav our meal..
Cos tat blur guy forgot to take back his student pass
last night after playing pool..
at the same time he can collect it..
After meals we wen to walk walk at those army shops..
I bought myself a army short n shirt..
Edwin bought two t shirt also..
Half way tro my sis called..
So me n edwin wen to meet her at PS..
She say she haven't eat..
in the end I ate ichiban with her..
haiz I'm growin fat again.. errrr..
After tat edwin leave us..
Me n my sis wen to watch movie..
We watch One More Chance..
The show is funny n touching..
U all should try to watch..
The world is like tat..
Always say give those criminal one more chance
but how many ppl can give chances to them
they always look at them in diff ways
Like wat LI GUO HUANG said in the show
The Judge put him in prison for ten yrs
but the world putting him in a life time
Cos no one will give a prisoner a second chance..
To me is y ppl like us cannot give them a second chance
if we dun who else will..
Y dun we trust them one more time..
Ppl like us will make mistakes so do they..
Haiz.. I jus hope humans will change their thinking..
So tired today..
got to rest early le cos tml got to wrk..
Cya..

Now at my wrking place..
nothing to do so decide to blog..
Last night on msn
my dar say she's not feeling well
dunno whether is it tat she had too much mussels..
tis morning called n know tat she's on MC..
haiz pool gal.. hope u get well soon ok..
Anyway today wrking with Elaine..
haiz ice kachang again.. so boring
as if I'm in the prison..
ok la go to change n start wrking le.. cya..

Today was my off day..
Tis afternoon meet dar for lunch at PS..
we had pizza hunt..
cos been a long time I
had pizza right in the restarant..
After tat went back hm..
N meet wc n dar for dinner..
we had fish & co..
cos dar wanted to eat the mussel
n wc hav the urge to eat fish & co also..
I notice three of us only got one neo print
taking together.. so we decide to take neo
After tat we wen to cartel cafe..
I had drink n wc had pancake..
haha my stomach was super full..
dunno how heavy am I le..
afraid tat I gain weight again haha..
Wc n dar got to do some stuffs so
we called it a day..
we took train back.. I sent dar back hm..
N I head hm after tat..
haiz tml got to wrk again.. sian
Anyway really enjoy today..
WC hope we meet up again okok..hehe

my world of black & white..

I feel so lonely in tis world..
Where my friends my buddy my dar mei's n di's??
Friends busy with wrk..
Buddy busy with her ex..
Dar got a bf now..
Mei's n di's busy with sch stuffs..
Who hav I left?
No one ba..
God can u tell me
wat can I do to makes myself busy?
I tried to look for part time job at night..
I tried to fall to slp early..
But I still feel so miserable, lonely..
I try to dream..
But all my dreams are so empty..
Wat I see is black n white world..
I'm staying in a black n white life..
Pls God Bless Me..

OCEAN DEEP

Love, can't you see I'm alone?
Can't you give this fool a chance?
A little love is all I ask.
A little kindness in the night.
Please don't leave me behind. No, don't tell me love is blind.
A little love is all I ask and that is all.
Ooh love, I've been searchin' so long.
I've been searchin' high and low.
A little love is all I ask. A little sadness when you're gone.
Maybe you need a friend, only please don't let's pretend.
A little love is all I ask and that is all.
I wanna spread my wings,
but I just can't fly as a string of pearls.
Pretty girls go sailing by.
Ocean deep,
I'm so afraid to show my feelings.
I have sailed a million sealings and a solitary rule.
Ocean deep,
will I ever find a lover? Maybe she had found another.
And as I cry myself to sleep,
I know this love of mine, I'll keep. Ocean deep.
Love, can't you hear when I call?
Can't you hear a word I say?
A little love is all I ask. A little feelin' when we touch.
Why am I still alone? I've got a heart without a home.
A little love is all I ask and that is all.
I wanna spread my wings,
but I just can't fly as a string of pearls.
Pretty girls go sailing by.
Ocean deep,
I'm so afraid to show my feelings.
I have sailed a million sealings and a solitary rule.
Ocean deep,
will I ever find a lover?Maybe she had found another.
And as I cry myself to sleep,
I know this love of mine, I'll keep.
Ocean deep.
I'm so lonely lonely lonely. (baby, baby, ocean deep)
On my own, in my room. I'm so lonely lonely... (ocean deep)
I'm so lonely, oh so lonely. This love of mine I'll keep.

3-8-05

Today first day back wrkin at UWS
was quite stress cos really almost
fogets everything..
During lunch time
wen to play the new ride(LUGE)
with a GRO but we didn't manage to play
cos its rain all the sudden..
N both of us are wet all over..
Due to the heavy rain there wasn't much ppl today..
I wrk till 630..
After wrk decide to try my luck again
to play the new ride..
tis time with Razak n Binyu..
Finally yeah got to play the ride..
each staff gets 3 ride free..
the ride was super fun n cool..
u all should try it..
After the ride we wen to eat
at harbour front..
When I reach hm..
Haiz my friend called n ask me out..
So I wen to east coast with her..
Drink n tok of alot of things..
Now back hm n finish my story for today..
N later got to wrk again...
take care everyone.. God bless..

Miss everybody..
All the sudden my life so empty..

Tis the second ride..

taken while siting on the ride up the hill..

Took on the first ride.. hehe

Tis the weather in sentosa.. I took while siting on the ride up..

today was first day DL closing down
for renovation..
wrking in DL for
packing stock n cleaning..
In the end.. haiz
cut my thumb..
Dunno how I get tat..
its jus bleed non stop..
N the cuts look like an Nike tick.. haha
I dunno y I dun feel the pain..
Mayb I get use getting cuts le ba..
U all mus be thinking I'm crazy..
Anyway tml is my off day..
after tat will be back to wrk
in UWS le.. haha
so long didn't wen back there le
really not use to it..
I will miss those ppl wrking in DL..

I dunno y u saying sorry to me..
read tro yr blog
thinks tat its me again
who stress u up..
I should be the one saying sorry ba..
Anyway now I called..
we jus got a simple conversation..
Less than 5 mins ba..
Its always start with
"R U busy""Eat le ma?"Careful while wrking"
"take care" "bye bye" n ended with tis..
I really dunno wat else can I say to u..
I'm really afraid to stress u again..
N makes u unhappy..
Afterall jus wish u r happy now
without me stressing u..
N I"M SORRY..

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TotaLLy In LovE
ZaV LovE KaT